


if we only had more time

by mariechen



Series: if we only had more time - Bellarke Soulmate AU [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 14:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15050726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariechen/pseuds/mariechen
Summary: When he is younger his hands are sometimes stained in color.And he hates his soulmate for it.Bellarke Soulmate AU





	if we only had more time

When he is younger his hands are sometimes stained in color.

And he hates his soulmate for it.

The careless smudges on his body just scream privileged at him. He has never even touched an actual pencil or piece of charcoal. And his soulmate always seems to have them around. Resources like that are reserved for the people in charge on the Arc. And for their kids.

Sometimes a small  _ hello _ or  _ hi _ appears on the inside of his wrist. He stays silent. The words disappear soon after.

The people who are in charge are the ones who his mother is most terrified of.

Every time a new stain appears he can see the fear in his mothers eyes. She takes his small hands in her bigger calloused ones and almost crushes them. “You can’t let them find you. If they find you, they are going to find your sister. And you know what is going to happen to us if they find out.” 

My sister, my responsibility.

He spends most of these days furiously scrubbing his hands, hoping the marks will disappear.

They never do.

 

She is writing the list and the last days, another impending doom, it’s all just too much. So he lays down and closes his eyes and falls asleep until the choking sounds of Clarkes tears wake him. 

Before he is even fully awake he is standing by her side. He sees his name on the list that decides who lives and dies. The last spot is still vacant and he knows her inner conflict reflects his. He understands her. He himself isn’t sure if his name deserves to be on that list, probably not, if he is honest, but he knows one thing with absolute certainty. 

If his name is on the list, hers is on it too.

So he takes over and fills the final line and the one hundred names are written down.

And they put it away, hoping they would never have to use it.

But her tears won’t stop. Another impossible choice to make. She grabs his hand on her shoulder searching for some kind of comfort. A black smudge of ink on her fingertip catches his attention. And without meaning to, his eyes dart to his hand and they focus on the exact same smudge of ink on his fingertip.

And he can not breathe for a second. He is swaying or maybe it’s the earth tilting out of its axis.

It makes sense and at the same time it doesn’t and he can’t explain the feelings rushing through him at the thought of his soulmate being right next to him. Of Clarke being his soulmate.

He wants his mouth to open, he wants to will the words to leave. But they get stuck somewhere between his throat and his lips. And then the moment is over. 

And he doesn’t get another one.

He leaves her behind to die.

 

Praimfaya makes her skin boil and stomach turn. The first days alone on the ground she spends in a feverish haze.

The first time she is something akin to conscious she tries to take notes of her injuries. The smell of burnt skin that fills the lab makes her stomach twist and turn.

But what catches her eyes is a dark stain on the inside of her wrist that doesn’t seem like the rest of the radiation sickness that burned her body. 

She blinks and tries to make her eyes focus. She brings her wrist closer to her face and then her breath catches in her throat. Something is written there in small, crooked and shaky letters.

_ Clarke _

_ i’m sorry _

She tries to make sense of the words and what they mean but then darkness takes over once again.

 

The next time she wakes she finally feels good enough to stand. She grabs the edges of the table near her, pulls herself up and her eyes flicker back to her wrist. She sees a new addition of words.

 

_ i don’t think i will ever forgive myself for leaving you behind _

 

The line is crossed out multiple times and aggressively scribbled over so she can barely make out the words. The next line is so shaky and wobbly she can almost feel the desperation and sadness radiating from it.

 

_ i can’t forgive myself for leaving you behind _

 

Her knees almost give out under her again. 

Bellamy.

He made it.

They made it.

She has a soulmate.

Bellamy is her soulmate.

Her soulmate is stuck in space for the next five years - thinking that she is dead.

 

Her eyes frantically search the table.

He, no they, need to know that somehow she made it. She desperately moves through the lab. Somewhere in here had to be a pen, a pencil, ink or something else.

The content of the cupboards of Becca’s lab scatter on the floor. Not a single pen in this lab full of useless technology. 

For the first time since she woke up and found this small light in the dark of the tunnel she feels utterly hopeless. 

  
  


The earth is wasteland.

 

_ i’m sorry _

_ i’m sorry _

_ i’m sorry _

 

Arkadia is just a pile of rubble.

 

_ i don’t know how to do this without you _

 

The bunker is buried and her last hope of not being alone for 5 years is crushed.

 

_ i should have waited for you _

 

Her rations are getting low.

 

_ i shouldn’t have left _

 

There is nowhere else to go.

 

_ i don’t deserve forgiveness _

 

She’s lost everything. 

 

_ if we only had more time _

 

She can’t do this anymore.

 

_ if we only had more time _

 

She survives.

 

She finds a village surrounded by a lush green area and she finds hope. 

She finds a place that could be her home till she is not alone anymore.

And Clarke finds a red pen in the trailer at the outskirts of the village.

 

She places the red pen on her wrist right under Bellamy’s last message.

 

_ Bellamy _

_ It’s been 58 days since Praimfaya _

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so i hope you enjoyed this! I don't really know what this writing style is but I still hope it was enjoyable!  
> I spend the whole time writing this listernig to different Bellarke playlists to be even more emotionally comprimised by them.  
> My tumblr is mereadingandstuff if you want to scream about them with me!  
> Read you next time!  
> Season 5 is breaking me you guyssss


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